I have a hypothetical question. If you are not a family member or not an immediate family member to a child who has experienced loss, and you see that their surviving parent is so overcome by grief-- or perhaps both of their parents, they've lost a grandparent-- that they are really not aware of or addressing the child's feelings, how is it appropriate to step in so it's not an overwhelming thing, to the parent or to the child, to help them start to tap into what their grief means?
PATTY DONOVAN-DUFF, RN: They say that there are two things for good grieving for children. One is a safe environment-- physical, emotional, psychological. The second is the presence of a caring adult other than maybe the real immediate family-- an aunt or an uncle, a coach, a teacher-- and the presence of that person in their life when they need to talk is very important for children. In our work with children, we will very often say, at the end of the eight weeks of the group, "Who's out there that you can talk to? Ask that person to be that special person." Adults don't know how to help children, very often. They don't know how. Sometimes we say to the kids, "Maybe you should go and pick a person and ask that person to be the person that you'll call when you're having a tough time, or you want to remember your mom or your dad or your grandmother." I think it's very important. I think the presence of adults in children's lives when they're grieving is very important.
